It has been a treacherous year of unpacking the lies and the box is barely open. There are lies that develop in our selves that become our own reality. They are so tangible they cannot be distinguished from the truth. Evidence lurks about substantiating the lies and then one cannot find the light of the real truth as quickly as when the sun dives beneath the horizon . One is bathed in the darkness of the lies where it saturates and wrinkles one’s thoughts. They torment the soul. Yes, these lies are torture.
I find myself scratching at the walls of this darkness trying to get out and breathe in the truth, allowing the light to illuminate what is real. It is a tricky process that is causing me to doubt every thought I have. Is it truth? Is it a lie? My hands bleed as my feelings tell me one thing and God’s Word says the other. Why are they discrepant? Why do I believe things that aren’t consistent with God’s Word? Why do I find substitutes like food, people, the internet, exercise, and alcohol?
These lies tell me that I will be alone; I am not beautiful; I am rejected; I am worthless; there is no hope. They are frightening thoughts and my only hope; if there is any chance that I can crawl out of that darkness is to fight them with the power of God. I pray His Word, hoping that it will illuminate that which I cannot just as the sun rises and makes all visible. There, I hope to find the Truth.
Psalm 25:15-17 My eyes are ever toward the Lord, for He will pluck my feet out of the net. [Lord] turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. The troubles of my heart are multiplied; bring me out of my distresses.
Esther 8:16 The Jews had light [a dawn of new hope] and gladness and joy and honor.